I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
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