shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
