i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
