This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
