Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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