i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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