just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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