Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
