Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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