We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
