dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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