We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
