Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
