Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize