dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
