After last night, I could never be a politician.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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