she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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