this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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