is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
