Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
