? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
