I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hope mine doesn't look like that
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
