I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
