Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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