Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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