i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
