We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
