So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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