Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
