If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Panties = found
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
