Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
nutella sex= disaster
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
