The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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