Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
