Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
