just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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