ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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