Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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