but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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