Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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