at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
