I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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