it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need moral support for this bender
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
