he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
