So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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