I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize