You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
