You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
