I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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