fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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