The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
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how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize