apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
