i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
