The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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