I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize