Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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