Sry I called you an 8
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
