I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
