Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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