I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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