His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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