Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
