Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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