is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
